The concept of a writer’s retreat is intriguing, but the ones I’ve read about wouldn’t work for me at all. Not due to budget or time, it’s the location and setup that are all wrong. Attention organizers! Here’s what I need:
- Sequester me in a suite in a crime-infested area where I’m likely to be killed if I leave, or somewhere with horrific weather that makes me glad to stay in.
- Give me only one hour of internet access per day.
- Let me earn entertainment “points” by producing word count. To earn enough points for 2 hours of movie-watching privileges, I’ll need to produce 5, 000 words.
- Deliver meals through a slot in the door. No interaction, no disruption.
- Do not let me leave until I’m done.
Under these circumstances I’d be highly motivated to finish so I could go home.
I don’t understand why people would go to a writer’s retreat in a lovely ocean-side resort or other enticing location. The LAST thing I’d want to do if I were in one of those places would be to stay inside and write. Dangle that weekend getaway in front of me as my reward for finishing, but don’t expect me to feel inspired to do anything but go outside if you set me up somewhere beautiful.
Is it just me? These retreats seem to be popular, but I just don’t get it. To me, they’re the worst possible circumstances to get anything done.